Top Ten Movies of the year pre-2009

Do you remember that moment in the Simpsons when the comic book guy walks down the street, reading a book and muttering, "Aqua-Man, you can not marry a woman without gills. You are from two different worlds." Then he looks up and sees he is about to get hit by a nuclear weapon and says, "I've wasted my life."

I thought it would be fun to keep a journal of all the movies I saw this year, and it was fun, till the year came to an end and I noticed that I watched a little over (I shouldn't be admitting this in a public forum) 170 movies. "I've wasted my life."

In my defense, I'd like to point out that we didn't have any tv, except for a dvd player, so I didn't watch any TV. (Except for Generation Kill, Flight of the Conchords season 2, and the 2nd through 5th series of The Office. Good heavens do I love the Office.) But 170 movies is way too many. My goal for the next year is to see only 50 - 70 movies. That's one a week. Some weeks I'll watch two.

Here are my favorite ten movies that I saw in 2009 that are pre-2009

Seven Chances (1925)
The Buster Keaton silent film where he has to get married by seven o'clock that night or miss out on a seven million dollar inheritance. Funny and gentle for the first two thirds. The last two thirds are deliriously insane. Keaton is chased by thousands of brides and accidentally starts an avalanche. One of my favorite silent comic moments of all time. I showed it to my in-laws and they loved it. So did my seven and four year old.

Act of Violence (1948)
A war hero is stalked by someone from his platoon (Robert Ryan), who knows the hero wasn't a hero, but got a people in the platoon killed. Really tense and powerful. Do not ever, under any circumstance, do anything to make Robert Ryan angry.

Troll 2 (1990)
You know how two negatives make a positive? With Troll 2, a bad script, stilted acting, bizarre direction somehow make two hours of awesome. This isn't one of those movies that is so bad it is good. No. This is movie is Good with a capital 'G.' Please watch this movie. You will not regret it. Filmed in Utah.

Night of the Demon (1957)
I hadn't heard of this movie a year ago, but it might now be my favorite horror film. It's about a guy who tries to expose a fake devil worshiper / magician. But it turns out the magician is able to sick a demon on him. It is really cool and beautiful.

Gimme Shelter (1970)
Documentary about Altamont Rolling Stones concert. The one where they hired the Hell's Angels to do security and then gave them lots of free beer. And then lots of bad things happen. Really intense.

Sergeant York (1941)
Gary Cooper rules.

Dear Zachary (2008)
Documentary that makes you cry and cry and cry. I don't want to say anything more. If you are going to see it, know as little about it as possible. (Warning, some swearing, but under the circumstances it is understandable.)

I Am a Fugitive of a Chain Gang (1932)
I didn't expect this one to hit me like a brick, but it is incredibly powerful. Maybe the most moving last line of a movie ever. It's about a fugitive of a chain gang. I like a title that tells me what I'm getting. Do you hear that Twilight? Why didn't you name yourself I'm a Vampire that Sparkles.

Ball of Fire (1941)
Gary Cooper rules. Retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, where Snow White is a gangster's girlfriend, the seven dwarfs are seven professors and the witch is the gangster. It makes the top ten for the scene where the only professor that had ever been married (his wife had died very young) gives Gary Cooper pre-wedding advice. I will steal that speech when I have to talk to my son before his wedding night.

His Girl Friday (1940)
Cary Grant was best when playing a stinker. In this movie he is a wonderful stinker. I watched it twice this year. Very, very funny.

Movies I saw that came out in 2009

My three favorite films that came out this past year were children's films. That never happens. Usually I love Pixar and hate every other film aimed for children. (Except an occasional Peter Pan and Babe 2: Pig in the City.)

Best films I saw were Coraline, Where the Wild Things Are and The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

Here are all the films from 2009 I saw this year.


Movies I loved unreservedly and would love to see again:

A Christmas Carol: The 3D was spectacular. Not sure if I'd like it in 2D

Coraline: Really unnerving children's movie.

Drag Me to Hell: I was so right about this one.

Fantastic Mr. Fox : So scared I'd hate it. Very relieved when I laughed all the way through.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: I don't like the Harry Potter movies, but I'm a sucker for camera shots from the viewpoint of malevolent witches going through the streets of London. I wish more movies had them. This is best Harry Potter movie yet.

Inglorious Basterds

Up - Pixar has only made two films that I don't care for. First ten minutes are the best things Pixar has done.

Where the Wild Things Are: My favorite movie of the year. The first fifteen minutes hit me hard. The soundtrack is great.

Movies I really, really, really liked but don't care if I see again:
Extract - Best acted movie of the year. Everyone knocked it out of the park.

Observe and Report - Boy this was dark and funny and touching.

Star Trek - I hate Star Trek but I really liked this.

Knowing - I don't care what anyone says. I thought it was good. I had it playing at the library and the last fifteen minutes everyone in the teen room stopped what they were doing and gathered around the TV. It was a nice moment.

Paranormal Review: Too scary to see again. Or to boring because I know where all the scares are. Either way, it was good to see once.

Movies I loved mostly but had parts that I hated:
500 Days of Summers:
This feels unfair because I loved this movie, far more than I disliked it. I really only disliked the scene when they embarrass each other by shouting obscenities in the park. (So what? I'm a prude). The scene made me cringe and made me like the characters less. The rest of the movie was outstanding, but it took awhile for me to like the characters again.

Movies I feel nothing about:
The Hangover: So-so.

17 Again: It seems like I should have hated this more. I didn't find it funny but I was touched in parts.

Zombieland: It seems like I should have liked this movie more. I'm not sure why I didn't.

Funny People: I liked what it was doing and I liked the acting and the story. I don't know. I liked it without feeling strongly about it.

Movies I mildly didn't like:
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs : Why do animated films think I want to see a joke every 4 seconds? I don't. I want a story thrillingly told. The Life of the Party is always a bore. Don't try to be the life of the party anymore animated films. (I blame Robin Williams in Aladin.) No more joke a minute cartoons, please.

Bruno: I loved this film when I saw it. I laughed a lot and thought it had important things to say. But the review in The New Yorker was such a good take down of the movie, that it flipped me from enjoying to mildly not liking. (Does that make me easily swayed or is the reviewer in The New Yorker that good a writer. Probably both.) The best paragraph in the review is :

Brüno” ends appallingly, with a musical montage of Sting, Bono, Elton John, and other well-meaners assisting mein Host in a sing-along. Here’s the deal, apparently: if celebrities aren’t famous enough for your liking (Ron Paul, Paula Abdul), or seem insufficiently schooled in irony, you make vicious sport of them, but if they’re A-listers, insanely keen to be in on the joke, they can join your congregation. Would Baron Cohen dare to adopt a fresh disguise and trap Sting in some outlandish folly, or is he now too close a friend? To scour the world for little people you can taunt, and then pal up with the hip and rich: that is not an advisable path for any comic to pursue, let alone one as sharp and mercurial as Baron Cohen.

Here is the complete review http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/cinema/2009/07/20/090720crci_cinema_lane?printable=true

Monsters vs. Aliens: See comment about Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Movies I didn't like:

Friday the 13th: It gave me a headache. Forgot I'd seen it till I made this list.

Paper Heart: I would have loved it when I was 23. I can understand why others would love it.

Movies I wanted to like but found disappointing:

Jennifer's Body - A horror film by the writer of Juno? I was so excited.

The Invention of Lying: Biggest disappointment of the year. I love Ricky Gervais. Love, love, love him. But this movie just did not work. At all. Except for one hilarious scene where Gervais makes up 10 commandments. I wasn't offended by the religion bashing. That was the funniest stuff in the movie. Everything else was bleh.

Deborah

Deborah came up to me with the birthday card her grandparents sent to her. I'd already read the card which said in red pencil,

Dear Deborah,
Happy 4th Birthday.
Love Grma & Grndpa

She asked if I wanted her to read it to me. I said, sure.

She said, very solemnly,

Dear Deborah,
Ha! Ha! Ha!
You can't go to school.
Love Grma & Grndpa

I don't know which I find more funny, that she thinks it's within the realm of possibility that Grma and Grndpa would write a letter simply to tell her she can't go to school. She didn't' appear to be joking.* Even though she knew the letter didn't say that, since Melissa had already read it to her, it appears she thought I might believe it.

Or that her grandparents would write out Ha! Ha! Ha! first. Probably the three 'Ha's'. There is something so wonderfully malicious about them.

For the record, her Grandparents are wonderful and they would never send a letter like that to a 4 year old child. And the letters they've sent to me and Melissa have been quite constructive in tone and rarely mocking. For instance, we got a letter on my birthday that said:

Dear Melissa and Bryan
Ha! Ha! Ha!
You can't afford to go to San Diego this month.
Love Mom and Dad

Which I took as a letter of encouragement to keep paying off the student loans. The laughter was a sympathetic, been-there, done-that sort of laughter.

*Deborah's jokes usually end with something like, "And then the refrigerator falls on your head" or "and then the bees land on your head" apropos of nothing. If there is a connection between her set-up and her punch-line, I've yet to discern it. (And yet her jokes still make me laugh. I suspect she's a comic genius.)

It's not a mid-life crisis

I am not going through a mid-life crisis, although I'll forgive you for thinking so. I don't think mid-life crisis' are this mild and this un-life-shattering.

But lately I've wanted to re-evaluate my life, see where I'm going right and see where I'm going wrong. And correct it.

A couple of recent incidences have brought this on.

Last month, a guy I know died in a bicycle accident. He had three children, the youngest barely three months old. He only two years older than me.

It was startling and tragic and not unusual. Accidents happen. But I wonder how often they happen to great men. This guy was probably in the top 10% of people in the world. A contributor to society. And I suppose the top 10% get in 10% of the accidents. And the dregs of society, the bottom 10% probably get in 10% of the accidents. So 80% of the accidents involve people who are not too good and not too bad. And it is tragic and you hate to think of it happening, but it is what it is. But when someone who is, say, 95% good dies in an accident, it feels a bit more shocking.

And it was shocking. I wouldn't call him a friend, but we were friendly. He was an acquaintance that I admired. And he was a universally admired in Yuma. The funeral procession was led by the teen bike club that he helped found.

And of course, it made me consider my life and my wife and children.

Just a few weeks after that, a 35 year old childhood friend was called to be the Bishop of his ward. It was very surprising, non-surprising news. Non-surprising because he is a great, tender guy. The kind of guy you'd want as a bishop.

And yet surprising because I've never thought of Bishops as "great guys." Great Men, yes, but not great guys. Bishops and Great Men are older than me. 'Great Guys' and Elder's Quorum presidents are my age and younger. And when somebody I grew up with goes from Great Guy to Great Man, it means I should at least start thinking about becoming a Great Man myself.

By Great Man I don't mean Bishop. Heaven forbid. I wouldn't wish that on Kim Jong Ill. But I'd like to be a serious, good, kind man.

I know I'm not a horrible person. I won't spend the next few blog posts beating up on myself. But every once in a while I get itching for a mild course correction.

Last time I had one of those, I ended up in Great Britain.

These are the subjects I plan on discussing.

Politics
Family
Religion
Career
Goals

Dust Storm in Sydney

1. These pictures of a dust storm in Sydney are beautiful. http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/09/dust_storm_in_australia.html

Newberry Neil Gaiman/ The Chosen One

1. It turns out Neil Gaiman didn't win the Newberry this year. http://jameskennedy.com/2009/07/13/i-win-the-newbery/ I couldn't watch the videos on my computer but the transcript of James Kennedy's speech was great.

2. I finally read The Chosen One by Carol Lynch Williams, (You'll remember that I told you it was coming out a couple of months ago.)

No wonder it has gotten the blurbs it did. It is fantastic. By far, Carol's best. Even Melissa who is adverse to reading or watching anything on plural marriage, and who read the jacket and said, "I think I'll skip this one," then read the first page and said, "hm, yeah, not my cup of tea," then preceded to read it in one night and wanted to talk and talk and talk about it.

The protagonist and her boyfriend will break your heart. I won't say anything more.

It's A Boy

Christopher Ray was born June 4th. He weighed 8 pounds 8 ounces. 21 inches long. He shares a birthday with Angelina Jolie, King George the third and my co-worker Maria Mendez. He is already sleeping through the night. We couldn't be happier.

I've got bad news . . .

. . . for those who are eagerly awaiting the next instalment of my New York trip. Melissa went into labor at 3:00 am. Went out to the front room and read the Ensign till 7 am. Then woke us all up to get Eli ready for school. The contractions are 6 minutes apart. Soon we'll go to the hospital. (Melissa doesn't want to spend 10 hours in the hospital. So she is waiting till she feels ready.)

Earlier today I told Deborah that mom was going to labor. She patiently told me that she was not either. She's going to the hospital.

Friday in New York

1. I look like Screech from Saved by the Bell. That is my cross to bear. Not unbearable but if I had my druthers I'd rather look like Zach or the guy with the mullet. Or even Jesse, I suppose. More on that later.

2. Stopped at a nice breakfast restaurant and had a steaming cup of cream of wheat. Temperature 68 degrees. (Weather, not my breakfast which burnt my tongue.)

3. The conference itself seemed very crowded. I heard it was much smaller than last year, but it didn't feel like it.

4. People see my name tag, which says I'm from Yuma, Arizona, and ask if I'm glad to be out of the heat. Each time I say yes and laugh a little too loudly. Each time they look a little uncomfortable.

5. When Neil Gaiman signed his new children's book, I said, "Thank you so much" in a very earnest way. I wasn't just thanking him for the children's book (Crazy Hair. Very funny.) I was thanking him for American Gods, Anansi Boy, Sandman, The Graveyard Book and the new Coraline movie. He said, "You are so very welcome." I know this isn't an interesting story but it was one of the highlights of my trip.

6. Stood in line for Scott Westerfield's new book with a young, hip twentysomething lady, talked a lot about Neil Gaiman and other things. She was wearing a hot pink baseball cap. Listen to me 13 year olds, get on the ground floor, start wearing 80's fashion. I think it will be the next big thing.

7. At 5 I walked to 42nd street. A guy selling tickets to a comedy show. 40 dollars, but he could get them to me for 20. Starring Dustin Diamond who played Screech on Saved by the Bell. No thanks, I said.

8. Bought tickets for 39 Steps, I had three hours to wait till it started. Another guy on the corner shouting out that he had tickets to Screech, pointed to me and said, "Hey you look like . . ."
"Dustin Diamond?" I said.
"Yeah," he said. "That's funny. You should totally buy tickets." But I have a rule to never buy anything from a salesman who tells me I look like Screech.

9. Since I had a couple of hours I took in a screening of Drag Me to Hell. Awesome. I don't want to brag, but I really called it, don't you think? . . . You all saw it, right?

10. When I left the theater a big black man looked at me. I smiled. He looked at me again as if he knew me, pointed, and then waved me over. "Hey are you Screech?"
"No," I said.
"You look just like him."
"I've been told."
"He's playing here tonight."
"I heard that."
He paused and said, "I don't think you should go to it. People will probably harass you."
"That's probably true. I'll skip it."

11. 39 Steps was good. Really good. Not amazing good but a fun time. A little too long and the teenagers beside me laughed a little too loud. (What are they on vacation from Yuma?) Perhaps a full review in a few days.

12. Went to the hotel and watched the Spenser Tracey version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Very disturbing for a movie from 1941.

Thursday - The Flight

1. Why do they sell Playboys and Penthouses at the airport bookstores? Does anyone actually read those on the plane? I read Rolling Stone on the flight from Yuma to LA and was embarrassed that my seatmates might accidentally see some of the salacious pictures. I can't imagine having the guts to read a Penthouse. Maybe they are for the pilots.

2. I think my flight attendant from Yuma to LA was Mormon. She spoke in the sing song that Relief Society Presidents used to have in the eighties. When it was time to descend she said, "I have very exciting news." I was charmed. Good job United, usually your flight attendants seem overwork and harried.

3. I took the subway from the airport to the hotel in order to save money. I ended up saving only 7 dollars. I should have taken the shuttle.

4. While brushing my teeth I looked out the bathroom window and saw the bottom half of the Empire State Building, half a block away.

5. In New York, steam really does come out of the grates. I thought that was only in Martin Scorsese movies.

6. I fell asleep at 1:30 am after watching Bill Maher and a few other things. I was still on Yuma time. I would be for the next four days.

24 hours to go

Well, it is 8:08 and in 24 hours I will be getting off the plane in Los Angeles. It will still be two hours before I crack open the Empire Magazine. To tide me over I will read a scary Bentley Little book.

Flying Out to New York This Week

Got my Empire Magazine twentieth anniversary edition guest edited by Steven Spielberg to read on the flight and I've washed all my knee length shorts. So I'm more than ready. Now I just need to wait the two whole days before I fly out.

The doctor recently said the baby probably wouldn't be born for another couple of weeks. So, knock on wood, I won't be in New York during the birth.

My flight leaves Thursday 6:30 am. I layover in Los Angeles and arrive at New York at 8 pm. I return home Monday at 1:30 pm.

New Library Opens Tomorrow Night

More about that later. I might be doing a fifteen hour day tomorrow.

A message from Deborah

Deborah decided she wanted to do a blog post also. I will be typing for her. I will also write what ever she tells me to. (Warning, she has a surreal sense of humor.) (When there is random letters it is because she wanted to type for a bit.)

Deborah: I love myself. bbbbbbbdhros. I'm going to clean up toys. ninnl. I'm going to go hug my mommy. I'm going to go jump in the laundry basket. I'm going to go jump into the computer. I'm going to go jump in the chair and hide. I'm going to jump in the fan.

A message from Eli

I promised Eli that I would let him write a blog post. I thought that meant that I would type. But no. He wanted to type.

So here we go.

im in my house playing tag with deborah it is fun .do you have fun playing tag i have fun. did you no that i went to the beach and the waves chast me and my dad. it got me. i did this By my self thank you grama and grampa summers and routson. :) (Bryan here. He asked if he could put on a smiley face moticon. I wonder where he found out about them.)

Twilight/ World's best visual illusions/ Twilight

1. This is a wonderful Twilight themed WikiAnswers exchange. http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Do_vampires_skin_realy_sparkle_in_the_sunlight

Question: Does vampire skin really sparkle in the sunlight?
Answer: Unfortunately, vampires don't really exist.

2. Please, please, please take a moment to look at the three best visual illusions of the year. The winner is a doozy. http://www.aip.org/isns/reports/2009/051309visualillusion.html

3. http://www.lrb.co.uk/v31/n06/turn03_.html I enjoyed this essay on Twilight.

Pixar movies in the order of how much I like them

1. Ratatouille
2. Toy Story
3. Monsters, Inc.
4. The Incredibles
5. Finding Nemo
6. Wall-E
7. Cars
8. Toy Story 2
9. A Bug's Life

I love 1-7 and I am lukewarm about 8 and 9.
I don't know why I'm not crazy about Toy Story 2. It seems to be everybody elses favorite. It doesn't do it for me. I can't wait to find out where Up falls in the list. (I think Incredibles might have been higher except for the fact that I've seen it so dog-on many times. I've worn that movie out.)

Baby Monster/ Paleface

1. New favorite game at the Summer's is Baby Monster. It's when I chase Eli and Deborah around the house, while holding Robin in front of me, Robin growling like an ostrich.

2. Watched Paleface, a Buster Keaton short, yesterday. Probably too racially insensitive to show at the library but it had a jaw dropping stunt - Buster Keaton rolls down a hill like Princess Buttercup in Princess Bride. Only, instead of a lot of edits and cuts, it is one shot. He starts at the top of the hill and we watch him go to the bottom. The camera is forever away and Buster Keaton, who is just a tiny speck, rolls and bounces down the hill.

Camp out/ Dead catfish

1. Took Eli on the father son campout. It was too hot to make a fire, so we sat around an empty fire pit. One of the fathers caught a huge scorpion and put it in a bucket. Eli and I did a little fishing but we didn't catch anything. But they were biting. They bit the worm off the hook 12 times. I think I'm putting the worm on the hook wrong.

2. Around the corner, half a block from our house is a giant dead catfish on the sidewalk. It has been sitting there for 4 days. I wonder why nobody has complained. Probably because it is too hot to walk, so nobody is on the sidewalk, nobody has smelled it and the only people that see it are in air-conditioned cars. It's easy to forget about till you drive by it again. And again. And again. I should call someone.

Why I want to see Drag Me to Heck/ campout/ food art

1. In a comment thread yesterday my friend Ben wrote:

"So you have talked about this movie so much I went and watched the trailer. I'm just wondering why you want to see it soooo bad. I mean it doesn't look any different than any other scary movie. Are you joking when you say you want to see it so bad?"

No, I am not joking. Drag Me to Hell is the movie event of the year for me. (Besides Pixar's Up. Which I want to see almost as much.) Here are the reasons:

a) Sam Raimi is directing. He directed the Spiderman movies, which I like a lot. But even more exciting, he directed Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness. Two horror movies that I love. They are the perfect mix of funny and scary. Especially Evil Dead 2. If it's ever on TV, I watch till the end. I can't help it. (I was slow in my appreciation. The first time I saw Evil Dead 2 I thought it was just okay, but I kept thinking of parts and the next time I saw it I was hooked.)

b) A lot of horror fans were very worried that Drag Me to Hell was rated PG-13 and thus lame. They like their horror rated R. But when it played at the South by Southwest film festival, the fans thought it was amazing. The right mixture of scares and roller coaster ride. So even though it is PG-13 it is still loved by grizzled horror film fans.

c) It's PG-13 so I can screen it at the library next Halloween.

2. Tonight is the ward father and son campout. I don't think I will be able to sleep because Yuma is so dang hot. Will bring a flashlight and a book. I couldn't sleep last night in my house with a fan and air conditioning - had to watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers at 1 am.

3) Of this food art,
http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2009/04/pasta-monster-and-other-strange-food.html
my favorite is the eggs http://nocturnalmoth.deviantart.com/gallery/#EGGS-and-PILLS .
But all the pictures are good.

Will Drag Me to Hell be the greatest movie of all time? Or just 2009?

1. Only 23 more days till Drag Me to Hell.

I'm excited about a few other things this month. Only 15 days till the new library opens. Exciting because when the library opens it means only 8 more days till Drag Me to Hell.
And only 22 more days till I fly to New York which means one more day till Drag Me to Hell.

Tonight I'm going to make myself a Drag Me to Hell advent calendar. I will post pictures later this week.

I'm scared the baby will be born on the day I'm supposed to go see Drag Me to Hell. What will I choose? The hospital or the theater? Melissa and I probably could have planned the timing of this child better.

2. Postscript to the list about Melissa. Melissa, when I gave her the list after church, made some compelling arguments.

a) You, (meaning me, Bryan), eat plenty of chocolate chips, since every time you pass the freezer you get a hand full. (She's right, I probably shouldn't complain about a lack of chocolate chips in my life.)

b) Liver tastes soft and squishy and weird. (I can't argue with her. Liver is real soft and squishy. (So is dove by the way.) We just disagree on whether that is a good thing.)

c) Scary movies are scary and I (meaning Melissa) don't like being scared for free. Why pay someone to scare me? (Again, hard to argue with. I hate being scared in real life also.)

Book Expo of America/ Three un-interesting things

1. This will be my second year at Book Expo of America. Last year I was there for six hours and got to meet Paul Feig and see, from a distance of twelve feet, John Hodgeman and Alec Baldwin. I also got about 150 advanced reader copies of books.

This year I will be there for three days (still missing Chuck Klosterman and Stephen Tyler - AAARGH) and will have to ship whatever goodies I can't fit into my suitcase. And at Book Expo of America there are a lot of goodies.

There will also be a lot of interesting interviews and panels and celeberaties. Do you guys remember Al Franken and Bill O'Reilly screaming at each other on C-Span four or five years ago? That was a Book Expo of America panel.

The advanced reader copies I want the most are the sequel to The Hunger Games, the new Richard Russo book, the new AJ Jacobs book and Terry Teachout's biography of Louis Armstrong.

2. Here are three things about my family that aren't interesting to anyone but myself and even I have nothing to add by way of comment and yet I want people to know about them.

a) We have a hummingbird feeder. And lots of hummingbirds.
b) We went swimming at the Colorado River yesterday. Eli stepped on a bee.
c) Tile floors are real slippery when wet and also hurt when you fall on them.

Eli and school/ wife / Swine Flu in Yuma

1. Eli hates school. I can tell because Sunday night he becomes tense. I know that feeling. The gloom that descends before a week of work. (I don't have it with this job, but I've had it with other jobs and with certain school years.)

2. Yesterday in priesthood they asked us to write down what we wished our wives did better or things we don't like about our wives. The goal of the lesson was to help us realize how petty our dissatisfactions are. But I stand by my three.

a) When she makes chocolate chip cookies, she only puts in a half a bag of chocolate chips. She likes more of a cookie taste. Where as I like more of a chocolate chip taste.

b) She doesn't like liver so we never have it for dinner.

c) She doesn't like scary movies so I either have to go see Drag Me to Hell alone or hope that Kyle, Nathan or Clin move to Yuma before May 29th.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable. Melissa, the ball's in your court.

3. One confirmed case of Swine Flu in Yuma but the authorities are refusing to give the name, age, address and telephone number of the sick person.

One more Swine Flu post/ Neverending Story/ Scorpions/ Drag Me to Hell

1. It's a bummer of a time to feel any aches, pains or flu symptoms. For instance, I ate a bagel the other day that made me feel a bit icky, and all I could think was, hm, I've got the swine flu real bad.

A few people we know have had the flu this week. Normally when you get the flu, you just think, "Ah well, I'll be better in a couple of days." Not this week though. The Swine Flu makes being sick even less fun.

2. Went to Melissa's doctor this morning for the pregnancy. Signs on all the doors said that if you have flu symptoms feel free to reschedule. I kind of wish we could put up signs like that at the library. "Sneezing people will be asked to leave." A lot of sneezing, coughing people go to the library.

3. I swear I don't think much about the Swine Flu. Nope, not at all. I'm not worried. Just making conversation.

4. I've been half watching Neverending Story with the kids. It still kind of works for me. I just watched the Rock Eater cry and danged if I wasn't a little touched. It's not a great movie but it's a pretty good one. I think I'm going to watch Teen Wolf maybe that holds up also.

5. The rumor is that the workers keep finding scorpions in the boxes of books being stored for the new Yuma library. I don't know if I believe it, but it keeps my mind off the swine flu.

6. It is May, so the countdown for Drag Me to Hell officially begins. May 29th. This is the movie I want to see most this year. Unfortunately I'll be in New York and I can't justify going to see a movie I could see in Yuma. I just hope Our Town is as good.

Swine Flu - Day 4 of the madness

My motto has always been, "Always err on the side of not worrying enough." It has served me well, which is why I'm not worried about the swine flu. 99.9 percent of everything is never as bad as we think it will be. Even the Spanish Flu only had a mortality rate of 2.5% percent. 2.5 is not that shabby. (Sure that's 50 million people but still . . .)

Swine Flu/ Dorky Glasses/ Neverending Story/ Go away

1. It's been 30 hours since I've heard an update on the swine flu. Don't know if we've had any in Yuma, Arizona, yet. I was about to research but, weirdly, I've lost all interest. (I'm still using a lot of hand sanitizer though.)

2. I got new glasses yesterday. I think they look great and so do my kids and Melissa, but I came to work today and nobody mentioned them. Except one guy who said I looked studious and another guy who asked what was up with the new glasses? I said, "Yeah . . I bought them." After an awkward pause he said, "See you around Bryan."

So I wondered if I was wrong about the glasses, but at a store today I caught my reflection in another car window and I looked really rad.

But maybe I'm one of those dorks who thinks he look awesome. For instance there was an issue of Library Today (name of magazine changed to protect the subject) where they talked about amazing teen librarians and one of them was a twenty-something with a nice smile who had on a tie and a vest but no shirt. My thought was, "What a dork, but I bet he thinks he looks cool. Will he be embarrassed by this picture some day?"

Am I like that guy only with new dorky glasses? Probably.

3. Watched the opening credits of Neverending Story earlier today. When I was a kid, my siblings and I would grab our dog's ears and flap them while singing the theme song. No doubt, if I ever get a dog, I'll do the same thing. (I'll watch the whole movie tomorrow. I wonder if it holds up.)

4. Every morning when I get out of the car, Deborah, age 3, shouts, "Go away, wicked wolf," and then laughs and laughs.

update (plus another update)

Swine flu has been confirmed in Arizona in Maricopa County which borders the east side of Yuma County. I'm surrounded. Pray for me.

Update: May 3rd. when I wrote this I was trying to sound more worried than I am. My real feeling about the swine flu is that like 99.9% of everything, it will never be as bad as we think it will be so it is not worth worrying about.

My motto is "Always err on the side of not worrying enough."

Barry White/ New York/ Imperial County/ hand sanitizer

1. I came into the office today with a low, sexy Barry White voice. Lydia and Jerry, my office mates said it sounded like I had the swine flu and requested I go home. I don't get it. Is Barry White's voice not sexy anymore?

2. In less than a month I'll be in New York City. I've wanted to visit there since I was 13. In about three weeks I'll be in San Diego. I love San Diego.

3. Last I heard, the swine flu hasn't made it to Arizona yet, but it has made it to Imperial County, Ca. I live three miles from the Imperial County border. So I'm avoiding all residents of Imperial County who talk like Barry White.

4. The library hand sanitizer smells really good. Like cinnamon. But I can only smell it if my hands are over my nose. How do they expect us to get any work done?

Glucose Test/ Stephen Tyler/ T-Rex clap/ Deadly Pandemics

1. "If you're ever shot or stabbed you won't have to worry about bleeding to death," a nurse said to me after milking my finger in order to get a drop of blood for my glucose test. They had to prick three of my fingers.

2. At the Book Expo of America opening gala, Stephen Tyler from Aerosmith and some guy from the E-Street band will be interviewed by one of my favorite authors, Chuck Klosterman. I would be very excited except that I won't land in New York until a half hour after the opening gala is over.

3. If you are ever a Den Chief for a cub scout pack and you have to do one of those corny claps, I came up with a good one for our dinosaur themed pack meeting. A T-Rex clap. Have the audience put their hands up like a T-rex, close to their chest and try to clap. The hands can't connect. It got a good laugh.

4. 5 deadliest pandemics in history.
http://www.neatorama.com/2009/04/27/5-deadliest-pandemics-in-history/ (I thought of doing a Swine-Flu Clap at the pack meeting last night but didn't. Bad taste.)

Sleeping in Airports part 2

I'm no expert at Sleeping in Airports but I fancy myself an informed amateur. So if you plan on sleeping in an airport, here is my advice.

1. Don't sleep in an airport if you can help it. You will not sleep well and you will start (or end) your trip very tired. Don't get me wrong, sleeping in airports is fun. But it's the miserable kind of fun that only feels satisfying because you are saving so much money.

It took me half a day to get to London and I was only traveling because Melissa was nice enough to let me visit places for the weekend. (I'd leave Friday afternoon and get back Sunday night.) So I would leave as late as I could the night before my plane left, usually 5:30 pm, getting into London at 10-12 pm. It was too expensive to get a hotel and too late to stay with relatives.

2. If you must sleep in an airport, bring a book. Don't bring Finnegan's Wake. Bring Nelson Demille. You will be awake more than you are asleep. You want the kind of book that would keep you awake in normal circumstances. Some people bring movies, but I don't know, if I'm tired, I can't concentrate on a movie. And I'm scared I'm going to lose or break the laptop. With a book, as soon as I'm done, I leave it on a bench for the next traveler.

3. Look for a crowd to sleep with. I feel much more secure when I'm sleeping with a bunch of other travelers. When I sleep alone, I'm afraid of cut throats and purse snatchers. Finding a crowd at the London Stansted is easy, since the place is teeming with sleeping people. The problem will be finding a bare spot of tile.

Gatwick was tougher. I moved from two different sleeping spots before I found a crowd sleeping outside of the shops. Then I slept like a baby.

I never did find a crowd at Heathrow. And I slept horribly.

4. Bring fruit and nuts. Airport stores close early and you will be hungry.

5. If you are in the Wolverhampton railway station at 2 in the morning and the next train to Aberstwyth doesn't leave till 6:35 am and it is bitterly cold, the best place to sleep is in one of the the elevators. They are outside the locked building and even though they aren't heated, you won't feel the wind. I read all of Louis Theroux's The Call of the Weird in that elevator. I didn't sleep till I got on the train the next morning. It was a pleasant night.

Sick/ Sleeping in Airports

1. I got a horrible cold last night. I'll only be working half the day. My co-worker is just getting over it. She's had it for a week.

2. This is my new favorite website. http://www.sleepinginairports.net/ . It is a review and guide for sleeping in airports. I've slept in the Los Angeles, London - Heathrow, London- Gatwick and London - Stansted airports. My favorite is Stansted since there were so many other people sleeping. It had a real camping-out feel. All the chairs were taken so I had to sleep on the floor with my backpack as a pillow.

Gatwick was nice also, they kept the lights low. I wasn't crazy about Heathrow since I couldn't find chairs without armrests, I only got about 2 1/2 hours of sleep, but I had a great Nelson Demille book, Wild Fire to read.

I wish I'd known about this website so I could find the comfortable areas. I might be spending the night in Chicago O'hare airport later this year and you bet I'll study up.

La Jolla beach, New York Book Expo

1. I've been neglecting the blog recently. That will end tonight. Till I get tired of blogging, I'll be blogging 5 times a week.

2. We went to the beach for the first time in a long time. Eli was nervous but he got over that quickly. Deborah was nervous the whole time. Robin was not nervous except briefly when a surprise 2 inch wave, knocked her on her back and submerged her. But Robin is pretty good natured and I picked her up awful fast and she shook it off like a champ.

We found an excellent Mexican restaurant right next to the San Diego Temple. I had a Carne Asada and Shrimp burrito.

3. I'll be in New York City for the Book Expo of America. While there I'll get an advanced copy of the sequel to Hunger Games, Richard Russo's new book and AJ Jacobs new book about being a guinee pig.

If I see any plays, I'll probably see 39 Steps and Our Town.

Carol Lynch Williams' new book

My favorite college teacher Carol Lynch Williams has a new book out in May. Any new Carol Lynch Williams book is a reason to rejoice but this one is especially exciting. The book has garnered an impressive list of blurbs including Meg "Princess Diaries" Cabot and Gregory "Wicked" Maguire. http://us.macmillan.com/thechosenone

I'm especially excited because the book sounds suspenseful. Carol normally writes funny and sweet slice of life type books but she also writes excellent suspense. My favorite thing she's ever written is an unpublished novel (I'm embarrassed I can't remember the name, I read it about 5 years ago) that takes place in one evening and is a real lean, tense piece of work. I'm surprised it hasn't been published and I hope it is soon.

And yes, I am bragging that I've read an unpublished Carol Lynch Williams novel.

I think all eight of the readers of this blog should purchase The Chosen One when it comes out.

Stanley Fish

Stanley Fish's new article is excellent. http://fish.blogs.nytimes.com/

What if Frank Miller wrote Peanuts

http://www.cinematical.com/photos/frank-millers-charlie-brown/1419750/

kids in car seats

http://meganmcardle.theatlantic.com/archives/2009/03/the_search_for_blame.php

Certainly read this link. If you then decide to go onto the wonderful newspaper article prepare for a tough read. I'm going to ask Melissa to read it tonight. (PS. Megan Mcardle is one of my favorite bloggers.)

Newspapers/ Stanley Fish/ Pinewood Derby

1. Time has a list of the ten US newspapers in most danger http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1883785,00.html

2. Stanley Fish has an excellent blog at the NY Times website. Here is a list of his top ten American movies. http://fish.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/01/04/the-10-best-american-movies/
All of his posts are just as good.

3. Eli and I made our first pinewood derby car. We got 4th place in the Tiger Cub Category. Woohoo. I wish that there had been a 5th Tiger cub competing and he had made a slower car. But 4th place isn't too shabby.

The Bible and stuff

1. Excellent and interesting article about why everyone should read the Bible, cover to cover. I'm going to pick up his book, sounds funny and informative.
http://www.slate.com/id/2212616/

2. Our first batch of winter visitors have gone home. I can feel a difference in the library. A smidgen less busy.

3. I walked to work at 6am. The sun wasn't up but it was too hot. This doesn't bode well.

4. The Book Expo of America will be in New York City till 2012. I'm a little disappointed because it was originally scheduled in Washington DC 2010 (I could stay with my brother) and Las Vegas 2011 ( I could drive there.)

5. I've been made the cub master for my son's Tiger Cub. From what I gather it is a ceremonial position. Once a month I hand out belt loops and badges. I ask people to give a watermelon applause. That sort of thing.

Mermaid Tails, Old Power Stations, Hitchens and Totten

1. Weta, who did the special effects for Lord of the Rings, is a great company. Pixar great. This is a quick read but absolutely worth it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4839818/Disabled-woman-given-mermaid-tail-to-help-her-swim.html

2. Cool pictures of old power stations. The one in Sweden is top notch. http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2009/02/epic-abandoned-substations-and-power.html

3. Christopher Hitchens, Michael Totten and Johnathan Foreman got attacked in Libya. Michael Totten's write-up is superb.
http://www.michaeltotten.com/archives/2009/02/christopher-hit.php

Bollywood Beatles Number

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5ky5ClIjL8 This reminds me of church dances.

Neat house for sale on ebay

17,000 square foot house built into a cave for sale on ebay.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330306913609

Life Plans

1. We have three student loans. We've now paid off the first loan of 9,000. We plan to have the rest paid off by the end of 2010. Then we will live abroad again. I kind of want to live in a third world country but Melissa doesn't. We're in the middle of negotiations. But we'd both like another experience in a foreign country.

2. This is a list of the things I'm excited for this year.

a) Our fourth child. We are waiting till he or she is born to find out the gender.
b) I will be going to New York City for the first time to attend Book Expo of America (for the second time)
c) We plan on at least one Southern California vacation.
d) Our 10th anniversary.
e) A full year of doing a film series. I'm hoping to do an all day Halloween film festival.
f) The brand new main library opens in May.

3. This may not be my favorite year ever, (it would be hard to top the year in Wales) but it's shaping up to be a good one.

25 things about Wm. Shakespeare

Good Heavens did this make me laugh. Warning, some blue language. http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=401633472

Eli

Yesterday while I washed dishes, Eli wrapped himself in white paper and came up to me and told me he was an angel with a message. That I would soon be in Heaven.
"But I'd miss Eli,"I said.
"Don't worry," he said, "He's already here."
"Oh," I said, not sure how to respond. "I'll be glad to see him again."
Then he said, "Well, now we're in Heaven."
"It's beautiful," I said.
Then after a long pause he said, "It's about time for mom to remarry. Don't you think?"

John Updike/elections in Iraq/ baffling foreign movie posters

1. To my shame, I've never read a John Updike book. I've read a lot of his magazine pieces. I will miss them. Here is one of his poems from an upcoming collection.

It came to me the other day:
Were I to die, no one would say,
“Oh, what a shame! So young, so full
Of promise — depths unplumbable!”

Instead, a shrug and tearless eyes
Will greet my overdue demise;
The wide response will be, I know,
“I thought he died a while ago.”

For life’s a shabby subterfuge,
And death is real, and dark, and huge.
The shock of it will register
Nowhere but where it will occur.
— JOHN UPDIKE
This poem is taken from John Updike’s forthcoming collection, “Endpoint and Other Poems.”

2. Here is a good article about what yesterday's Iraqi election could mean. When I was in Erbil, Iraq, the local librarian really recommended I read Ralph Peters. Since then I always do.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/01302009/postopinion/opedcolumnists/iraqs_next_test_152618.htm

3. Forgive the occasional blue word and blue picture. This is pretty funny. http://www.cracked.com/article_16990_lost-in-translation-20-baffling-foreign-movie-posters.html

I've updated books read

1. Sorry I've been gone for so long. Work has been busy since the winter visitors have arrived.

2. One of my goals is to read a book a week this year. Since I've started working at the library my reading time has decreased.

3. They pick up the garbage twice a week in Yuma - probably because it gets so hot in the summer.

Israel-Gaza war

Here is my favorite article so far about the current Israel-Gaza war. It's by Daniel Finkelstein.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/daniel_finkelstein/article5461544.ece

Number pad / famous authors who can't spell

1. I realize this isn't an interesting or insightful point but most people use the number keys on the right side of a keyboard instead of using the number keys above the letter keys.

At my job, I help a lot of people use the Internet and the majority use the numbers on the right hand side.

I can't give a good reason why I find that strange but I do.

2. Flannery O'Conner and F. Scott Fitzgerald couldn't spell. At all.
http://www.artsjournal.com/aboutlastnight/2008/12/dumber_and_dumber.html